Independent Woman? Cool Party Trick. But You Weren’t Meant to Do It Alone

You know what’s not a flex?

Doing everything yourself and calling it “being low maintenance.”

(Or “I just don’t like asking for help” when what you really mean is “I’ve been burned, disappointed, or taught to equate receiving support with weakness.”)

I say this with love—because I’ve lived it. And because the brilliant women I coach have lived it too.

Hyperindependence feels like a flex…

Until your body starts keeping score.

Until you start resenting everyone else for getting to rest.

Until the crispy fried part of your nervous system is running the group chat, your calendar, your to-do list, and your relationships.

Until you’re secretly fantasizing about ghosting your life entirely just to finally have some peace.

But here’s the reframe that changed everything for my clients (and for me):

Ease is a team sport. Flow doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
You can’t create a full and nourishing life in a silo.

Let’s talk about what does create ease, real ease, not “outsourcing your joy to a self-care checklist” ease.

Relationships That Don’t Feel Like Chores

One client came to me with an impeccable planner, a packed calendar, and not one moment of her week that actually felt restorative.
She was the strong one. The go-to. But beneath the surface? Bone-deep exhaustion. Our work together helped her renegotiate her time, energy, and boundaries—not to do less, but to make room for the parts of her life that actually felt like hers.

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Another client was in a season of sifting.
She’d outgrown her old work and was reckoning with friendships that no longer fit. In Recalibrate, she clarified what aligned support could actually look like. She let people in. Reorganized her days around what nourished her. Said yes to creative projects she’d sidelined for years. She didn’t do it by powering through, she did it by finally letting herself receive.

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Another came in stuck in people-pleasing reflexes.
Saying yes to things she didn’t want. Overriding her own rhythms to stay “on top of it all.” Over twelve weeks, she learned to listen to her body, soften her grip, and stop performing as the endlessly agreeable one. Her nervous system finally caught a break, and so did her relationships.

Different stories. Same pattern:
High-functioning, deeply thoughtful women who were tired of doing it alone, but had no roadmap or permission for any other way.

They didn’t overhaul their lives overnight.
They didn’t move to communes.
They just stopped trying to do it all alone.

Reminder: You Are Allowed to Rely on People

This is your nudge that interdependence is not failure, it’s your nervous system’s preferred state.

You get to design community that feels good.
You get to practice asking for what you need without shame.
You get to choose support that expands you, not drains you.

You weren’t meant to build a nourishing, regenerative life in isolation.

You get to ask for help without guilt.
You get to feel held instead of just needed.
You get to choose relationships that expand you—not perform emotional triage 24/7.

So if your current support system mostly consists of Instagram therapists, unread group texts, and the barista who remembers your name?

You might be ready for better.

Because ease and flow don’t just happen when your schedule is clear.

They happen when your relationships are aligned.

When your home and conversations feel like permission slips, not performance reviews.

Try This: A Micro-Shift Toward Interdependence

Here are three ways to gently rewire your relationship reflexes:

💌 Audit your “shoulds.” What friendships or relationships feel more like obligation than resonance? Where are you shrinking to keep the peace?

🧭 Ask yourself: “Who helps me feel like myself” Not “who do I owe a call back.” Not “who have I known the longest.” Who sees you, invites your truth, and can handle your ‘no’ without pouting?

✨ Receive on purpose: Ask for a ride. Vent without apologizing. Let your partner make the dinner plan. Text “I’m struggling, can you check on me this week?” and see what happens. Let someone take something off your plate. and resist the urge to say, “I owe you.”

If this hits a nerve (the tender kind, not the trauma kind), Recalibrate might be exactly what you need to keep going.

It’s my 3-month 1:1 coaching program for women who are done doing it all alone, and ready to live, work, relate, and lead in a way that actually feels aligned

Inside, we’ll do the deep (and cozy) work of restoring self-trust, aligning your relationships, and building a life that supports the real you, not the hyperfunctional mask.

→ Ready to choose ease on purpose? Click here to check out Recalibrate.